女友发给我这篇文章，读了之后发现除了用过钻子钉过钉子，吃过爆米花+可乐之外，其他的都没有做过，连wedding 从来都没有设想过，一直以为wedding day怎么样，都不过是365天中的一天而已，该记得的总会记得，不管怎样费尽心思，也不过是过眼云烟，转眼就该金婚纪念了。Monica在Friends里说，每个女孩子从她们5岁（？）开始就幻想今后的婚礼怎样，可能在她眼里我就是属于那异类了。不管怎样，即使这下面所有的事情都没有做过（虽然有些还是蛮诱人的，ie.6-pack ^^），该结婚还是得结，日子就这么过的。

It doesn't matter if you're planning to tie the knot with your man in the next couple of years or if that trip down the aisle isn't even on your horizon. There are some things that you better indulge in now, because once you're hitched? Forget about it.

Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing abs. So what if he's five years younger and your polar opposite? The joy of running your hands across his six-pack is a perfectly legitimate reason to go out with him.

Collect at least six country stamps on your passport,nv including one from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed. Yes, it's fun to travel with your man, but you also have to have some solo adventures under your belt before you start sharing your life with him 100 percent.

Embrace feminine decor. Don't go so far as to paint the walls pink — that'll freak out any guy who sets foot in your place — but stock up on stuff that appeals to your girlie side. When you're building a nest with him, you'll have to compromise on furniture and accessories, so pile on cute throw pillows while the decorating is all up to you (because here's a tip: Guys hate the things).Wear a hip, fabulous ring on your left hand. Once you have an engagement band, you won't want anything detracting attention from the ring.

Take advantage of the whole bed. You have the rest of your life to stick to "your" side when you sleep next to your man. Right now, place your pillow smack-dab in the center and make like a starfish.

Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or heels that make you feel incredibly sexy. Chances are, when you have a joint account with your hubby, he's not going to get why a purse might be worth the GDP of a small country.

Learn how to change a tire and work a drill. It's easy to relegate all those "guy" tasks to your man (and you totally should enlist his help), but there's a sense of power that comes with being able to fix something yourself.

Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet. Once it's there, he'll have to accept it (and psst, they make it impossible for men to leave the seat up).Throw blowout bashes. Sure, it's nice to have a mellow get-together with your girlfriends, but that shouldn't be the extent of your social life. Before settling down, let your wild side reign.

Get a grip on your dough. Sign up for a retirement plan and invest extra income in stocks or CD accounts. Take charge of your own cash flow before merging moola with your guy.

Have your dad take you out to dinner as often as possible. The reasons: It's great bonding time, and his open-wallet generosity will dry up once you're hitched. Face it: Your reception is the last meal that'll be his treat.

Hone a signature lingerie style. Figure out what cuts and colors are hottest on you, and develop a look that's all your own. That way, your one-day groom will follow your lead ... and not buy the polyester, so-small-you-could-floss- your-teeth-with-it teddy.

Want a cat? Heed this advice: Buy it now. Call it Snowflake. Let it sleep next to you in bed. If you wait to get a pet with your betrothed, it will end up being a big, slobbering Lab called Bif.

If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda, buy a cone and pop a Coke. When you and The Mister mangia together all the time, you'll be less likely to indulge those bizarre — but oh-so-satisfying — cravings.

Use tons of hot water in the a.m.

Take your celeb crush to the max. Plaster a poster of Ryan Gosling in your hallway, and set your computer wallpaper to a topless shot of him.

Plan your fantasy wedding. Now's the time to let your imagination roam — rip pictures of dresses from magazines, size up ceremony venues, and try on some rocks at the jewelry store. This stuff wigs guys out if they witness it, so get it out of your system now.

Start a pleasure ritual that a change in your relationship status can't disturb. Regularly treat yourself to something you love, whether it's a manicure, yoga classes at the fanciest studio in town, or a superrelaxing massage.

Set up your home in a way that fits your needs. Maybe keeping the coffee machine in the bathroom so you can get your caffeine boost while you put on makeup in the morning works for you. Until you have to deal with someone else weighing in on your unusual arrangement, customize.

[转贴]十二星座第二次爱的人

经过了炼狱般的summer term, 一直都想用中文写点什么，作为结课的纪念，可是学期结束已经一个星期了，发现虽然不用像上课时那么紧张，可是思绪总也被大大小小的琐事给填满了。今天不知道那根经发动，还是写点什么，把结课纪念和年度总结一块儿写了。

这几天陆陆续续的新生都来了，老生们，老老生们都不亦乐乎的去车站接新生。一直都计划要去，可是总是鬼使神差的被耽误了，也罢，把这个表现机会留给有需要的同胞们吧。周六中午，9月2号，2007年的，和LH一起去Boston, 在路上和一辆Dartmouth Coach擦肩而过，蓦然回首，去年今日此时的同一班coach载着我一骨碌脑儿的，奔着今天就来了。

New England 的景色确实不负盛名，那第一眼的惊艳不亚于当年在贡嘎机场呼吸到的第一口西藏的空气，只记得贪婪的吸取每一抹沁人的绿，逼人的蓝，还有那水晶般的清透，时差早就飞到九霄云外了，下了coach放了行李直奔ESL，上课去。

转眼一年就过去了，Dartmouth 是quarter制，一年分为春夏秋冬四个学期，我的记忆也被打上了季节的烙印。秋，层林尽染，一切都是新鲜的。很幸运的交了一些不错的朋友，时常聚聚，聊聊天，过过节，初生牛犊不怕死得和一班未曾谋面的朋友下了南方支援，那里有值得一辈子留念的记忆，珍藏的朋友。冬，铺天盖地的雪，除了白还是白，半夜从图书馆回家一路上真叫一个冷的刺入肌骨。。。本来这是这里最漫长最难熬的日子，是，但又不全是。无意中选了两门很tough的课，不过还好，有朋友撑着，有神眷顾着，倒也相安无事，还颇有些收获。春，是一个暧昧的季节，冰雪融化，指着冬天熬出来的硬骨头，后面的日子也稍稍好过了一些，课程已经不再是生活的全部，他也就这样一点点的侵蚀了我的生活。夏，虽然灼烈，但也相安无事，觉得并非课程、生活完全适应了，应该更多的是心境变化了，因为人大了一岁，也因为生命中多了一个人可以依靠。

神，真的是信实的。一年前，当飞机渐渐远离上海浦东机场的那一刻，我对神说，从这一天起，以后的每一天，不管怎样，都是往生命的兜篓里增值了。不再需要得到什么，而是去体验你所安排的一切。神没有食言，他没有让我过不去，在我觉得要过不去的时候总是有一个力量拉我一把。神没有食言，终于有一个人出现可以让我忘记过去的梦魇，可以无所顾忌的活出一个真正的自己，可以像小孩子一样发脾气，可以在熬不过去的时候不用再一个人靠着混着眼泪的Martini去扛，可以把眼泪湿透他的衬衣，可以被一个人带着去清新的Connecticut 河边透气，可以和另一个人一起看蜡笔小新不顾形象的变成大笑姑婆，可以在忧国忧民的时候被另一个人无哩头式的总结陈词驳得口吐白沫，可以无赖的移情以前的韩剧情节要求背背（只可惜这附近没有沙滩），可以幸福的看着另一个人把自己做的饭菜汤都吃光光（即使此时传来个破坏气氛的饱嗝也无伤大雅），可以赖床到中午直到另一头传来无奈的声音“姑娘，起来吃午饭了”，可以又哭又笑，小猫上吊般到头来被他数落 “哎哟我的天，这哪是一辈子的忧伤”。。。是啊，以为自己永远逃脱不了的“一辈子的忧伤”终于被我逃出来了，从大洋那头逃到这头，从忧伤的那头逃到神所预备的幸福的这头，真好。

总结这一年，即使现在就死掉，也没有什么遗憾了，有人说要过一个完整的人生才算满足，对我来说，一个满足的人生就是完整的了。 

It’s so unreal, but it’s real.

After we got off the airplane, when we were driving through the downtown of New Orleans, LA, I still couldn’t believe what I have seen by my own eyes. Yes, this is New Orleans, the Big Easy. It seems inappropriate to call it the Big Easy for now. This Big Easy was far away from what I have imagined hundreds of times before. Then I learnt another nick name of New Orleans from an outside billboard near the parking lot in French Quarter—the Crescent City. Yes, it sounds exactly as the same as it seems to me — quiet, aloof and blue.

Yes, blue.

Ironically, this is the color that according to our Gentilly Mapping Project we should designate to those houses that have been rebuilt and livable. However, through what we have learnt from our gutting and mapping expriences we knew that the only color that was missing in our map was BLUE. Even after one year and four months, this 80%-flooded city still couldn’t welcome her people who have fled because of the “natural” disaster. Most of the people who have survived and still been struggling since then are very nice and kind to our strangers, but you could still sense their depressions, their miseries, and their helplessness.

Yes, I saw and remembered the face of the manager of River’s Edge Restaurant.

River Edge’s Restaurant, which is located in the French Quarter, presumably the most prosperous location in Downtown, was the place I had the first authentic New Orleans dish—Red Beans and rice with Sausage. It tasted very good. I really like the food. But we were the only customers at that time. I was a little bit surprised when we were leaving the restaurant and complimenting the food to the manager, he didn’t smile to his only customers. I saw depression, deep depression that supposedly should be replaced by smile for his customers, from this decent and suave gentleman’s face. I remembered, from the beginning to the end, he didn’t smile at all. I was confused. I thought New Orleans’ people were famous for their hospitality and friendliness. I just left the restaurant with my confusion.

“If we were doing half the business, we could survive. But we’re not.”[1] said the general manager of River’s Edge Restaurant, Dale Rodriguez. I learnt this from New York Times online almost one month later after I came back from the trip. Finally I understand him completely.

To be honest, this two weeks’ trip is the most difficult trip I ever had. It is not only because of the physical difficulties that I should overcome when we were gutting house, but more because of the emotional or mental difficulties that I should handle everyday. Blighted houses full of black mold and decaying furniture, gutted houses with only beams left, wry electronic poles, dried pets’ bodies and miserable residents who are still suffering in their trailers helplessly waiting for someone could come and help them to rebuild their houses were everywhere. Most residents we talked to were positive but still have some complaints about FEMA, about their insurance situation, about their loss, about how they were abandoned by their home-country. But there was one old lady that I ran into when I was mapping in the field one day, whom I would remember for the rest of my life.

At that time she was sitting in front of her trailer. She seemed over-weighted. When I was walking pass by her house and was to code her house with YELLOW (means the house has been gutted, needs to be either rebuilt or torn down), I saw her. I just came forward and talked to her as we were trained and supposed to do for our project. Her voice was so sweet that even didn’t match with her age. She was speaking in a very peaceful tone that I never heard during the past couple of days when I was talking to other residents. She told me about her experiences through the disaster. Because that I asked her. Her husband was blind, and she has got cancer which caused the over-weight of her body. They were expecting to move back to their house in 8-9 months, or maybe even longer. I thought that would be the end of our conversation. But suddenly, she seemed emerge herself in a kind of mood that from my perspective, she was talking to herself. She said, the most difficult part was not living without electricity, Television, internet, telephone, etc, but was LONLINESS. A lot of her friends and neighbors “Perished in their own houses”. She used “Perish”. I was suddenly wordless. I didn’t expect her to tell me these. I noticed her eyes were watering. She was very grateful for me to stop and talk to her. At that moment, I found myself out of words, I wanted to offer her something, but I found I couldn’t. Finally I decided to give her the website of our project. I found out a small sticker and wrote down the website, and passed it to her, with both of my hands. It’s considered a respectful gesture in Chinese culture. She said I would check it out when I could have internet. I forgot she had nothing. I went forward and hugged her and said “I wish I could see you again, Ma'am, please take care.” When I was saying this, I really meant that. I do want to come back and see her and want to see her family could live a better life. I should leave, but I couldn’t help looking back. I noticed when I was leaving, she was kissing the sticker I gave her, praying and blessing us, the strangers.

Suddenly, I felt relieved. I remembered before we leaving Dartmouth, we were worried about that we could not leave anything behind after we came back. At that moment I knew that we did leave something. Just like the several photographs that we saved from the house we gutted, which were still recognizable. We left the precious photos in the middle of the hollow beams of the house for its owner to claim them. These were their last memories of the house. We left the photos, left the suffering people knowing that they were not alone, that from across the world, there are still some people who are caring for them and willing to help.

I wish I could come back and leave more.